So I finally did it. After years of wanting to make the big move to Cape Town, I am finally here, sitting in my new bedroom, in my new house, with a new view, wondering how the heck life can change so quickly. It's all been pretty overwhelming to be totally honest, and although the Cape hasn't changed and is just as breathtaking as it always was, my first few days here were spent wishing that I could trade Table Mountain for a swim in the warm Durban ocean. I wasn't in the most ideal emotional space at the start of this journey but it's amazing how God can kinda just swoop in and save the day like the hero that He is.
The first thing that helped this big change was being blessed with awesome digs mates who understand what I'm going through and I feel like we have all been living together for years. It's ridiculous. We've been spending copious amounts of cash on household items that we never even knew we needed, for example, its important to get different cloths, one for dishes, one for dusting, and one for cleaning the bath with. Then there's the little blocks you buy to clean out the toilet with, and not to mention the gazillion bottles of different cleaning liquids we had to purchase. Stocking up our separate grocery cupboards is a whole other story. Basically I am broke after the first week, and that's just from buying stuff I NEED. Growing up is expensive.
The second area where God has shown up in a big way is through reading and music. I have found that since I have moved here, I desire time alone a lot more than going out to big social events, and in that time I've started reading a little C.S Lewis and been a lot more focused on guitar. I guess I forgot how much happiness these two activities bring me and it's been distracting me from thinking about Durban all the time. Which is good.
I've realised that over the years, I placed Cape Town on such a pedestal and it prevented me from being happy in Durban, and now I have put Durban on that pedestal which is why I am battling to enjoy Cape Town. I remember a friend once saying to me, " Dani, be where you are", and that advice has been popping into my thoughts and challenging me all week. So, although it has been a tough move, I already feel like I am growing through it all, and I'm excited to look back on this at the end of the year and see how much God has worked in my life. I'm excited to grow up.
To Durban (and all my friends there) : I miss you like crazy and I'm so glad I got to leave with such a love for you in my heart. Growing up in this city really grounded me and although I may walk around without shoes on or speak in a weird accent, it's because I am a proud Durbanite through and through and it will always be my home.
To Cape Town : I'm excited for the adventures and challenges you have to offer. I look forward to experiencing the Long street culture and wine tasting and sunset hikes. I may even swim in the cold waters. Maybe. I hope at the end of this year I will be lucky enough to call two provinces home. Bring it on.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
A long time coming....
So, I have been without Internet for a while which will explain the lack of new content on my blog. However, it has allowed me time to experience many wonderful adventures and journeys, so now I actually have something legit to write about other than the obvious "thought of the week" escape route. Haha. Enjoy.
God has been doing great and amazing things in my life these past two months, so I felt the need to share.
I'm pretty sure most people, from all faiths, religions or walks of life, reach a point where they just feel....bleh.
It feels as if you are just going through the motions of a day-to-day life without much direction or purpose. I might be totally alone here, but I have a feeling that many can relate.
This entire year I have had absolutely no idea what purpose my life held in the greater scheme of the world and basically I felt pretty useless.
I have always felt a very strong call to the poor and have always felt like I needed to be doing something, anything, to help the situation of poverty our country finds itself in. The problem was that firstly, I was just ridiculously lazy, and secondly, I didn't feel that I had the ability to do anything. I mean, I'm just one person and there are a gazillion (that may not even be an exaggeration) mouths to feed and bodies to clothe. In my mind, I just couldn't understand why God would want to use me of all people. I'm nobody special, I mess up all the time and I can be pretty selfish and greedy and even spoilt when I want to b.
But here is what went down.
I spent a week during Matric Rage working 10pm-2am and 2am-4am shifts with a team of other people, just being a positive and sober presence during rage and ensuring that the matrics felt safe in a very hectic, alcohol-filled environment. By Day Two I was so ridiculously tired and just emotionally and physically broken that I didn't know how I was going to cope for the rest of the week.
Then I heard a life-changing analogy.
It came from Matt 14:13-21 and was a story about how Jesus used the lunch of a little boy to feed 5000 people. He started off with five loaves of bread and two fish. He then broke the bread and used these five loaves to feed all these people.
This story basically depicts my time during Matric Rage. Our team was like those loaves of bread, small and seemingly insignificant - but Jesus found us in our brokenness and tiredness and used us to "feed" or help all those matrics, and boy, did He show up. It was said to be one of the calmest Matric Rages they have ever had.
Anyway the point is that, during that week, God really showed me that no matter how insignificant I think I am and no matter how much I have messed up in my life, I still have the ability to love people beyond my capabilities. I realised that I had forgotten how powerful it was to merely show someone love and kindness. We don't have to be perfect people, in fact, we probably never will be, but we have been given this beautiful gift of love - a powerful love that comes from a God who loves us without condition or expectation... so why not use it to make a difference in the world.
I think it was Mother Theresa who once said,
Sheesh, what a quote hey.
Sometimes, actually oftentimes, it does hurt to love the old lady who has fallen asleep on the pavement in the rain, or the man digging in the rubbish bin for any sign of food, or the group of friends sitting on the curb, drinking alcohol all day to forget about the pain of poverty. It hurts because I wish there was more I could do and it hurts because I know that there are so many more like them, but you would be surprised the impact that showing someone a little love can have. It is because I love that I give them money for the shelter, it is because I love that I make them food parcels, it is because I love that I talk to them and pray with them and build relationships with them.
It is because I am loved by a God like no other that I can love. It is because of that love that I finally feel like I have purpose. It is because of that love that I'm finally doing something about it.
God has been doing great and amazing things in my life these past two months, so I felt the need to share.
I'm pretty sure most people, from all faiths, religions or walks of life, reach a point where they just feel....bleh.
It feels as if you are just going through the motions of a day-to-day life without much direction or purpose. I might be totally alone here, but I have a feeling that many can relate.
This entire year I have had absolutely no idea what purpose my life held in the greater scheme of the world and basically I felt pretty useless.
I have always felt a very strong call to the poor and have always felt like I needed to be doing something, anything, to help the situation of poverty our country finds itself in. The problem was that firstly, I was just ridiculously lazy, and secondly, I didn't feel that I had the ability to do anything. I mean, I'm just one person and there are a gazillion (that may not even be an exaggeration) mouths to feed and bodies to clothe. In my mind, I just couldn't understand why God would want to use me of all people. I'm nobody special, I mess up all the time and I can be pretty selfish and greedy and even spoilt when I want to b.
But here is what went down.
I spent a week during Matric Rage working 10pm-2am and 2am-4am shifts with a team of other people, just being a positive and sober presence during rage and ensuring that the matrics felt safe in a very hectic, alcohol-filled environment. By Day Two I was so ridiculously tired and just emotionally and physically broken that I didn't know how I was going to cope for the rest of the week.
Then I heard a life-changing analogy.
It came from Matt 14:13-21 and was a story about how Jesus used the lunch of a little boy to feed 5000 people. He started off with five loaves of bread and two fish. He then broke the bread and used these five loaves to feed all these people.
This story basically depicts my time during Matric Rage. Our team was like those loaves of bread, small and seemingly insignificant - but Jesus found us in our brokenness and tiredness and used us to "feed" or help all those matrics, and boy, did He show up. It was said to be one of the calmest Matric Rages they have ever had.
Anyway the point is that, during that week, God really showed me that no matter how insignificant I think I am and no matter how much I have messed up in my life, I still have the ability to love people beyond my capabilities. I realised that I had forgotten how powerful it was to merely show someone love and kindness. We don't have to be perfect people, in fact, we probably never will be, but we have been given this beautiful gift of love - a powerful love that comes from a God who loves us without condition or expectation... so why not use it to make a difference in the world.
I think it was Mother Theresa who once said,
" Following Jesus is simple, but never easy. Love until it hurts, then love more"
Sheesh, what a quote hey.
Sometimes, actually oftentimes, it does hurt to love the old lady who has fallen asleep on the pavement in the rain, or the man digging in the rubbish bin for any sign of food, or the group of friends sitting on the curb, drinking alcohol all day to forget about the pain of poverty. It hurts because I wish there was more I could do and it hurts because I know that there are so many more like them, but you would be surprised the impact that showing someone a little love can have. It is because I love that I give them money for the shelter, it is because I love that I make them food parcels, it is because I love that I talk to them and pray with them and build relationships with them.
It is because I am loved by a God like no other that I can love. It is because of that love that I finally feel like I have purpose. It is because of that love that I'm finally doing something about it.
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