A long time coming....

So, I have been without Internet for a while which will explain the lack of new content on my blog. However, it has allowed me time to experience many wonderful adventures and journeys, so now I actually have something legit to write about other than the obvious "thought of the week" escape route. Haha. Enjoy.

God has been doing great and amazing things in my life these past two months, so I felt the need to share.

I'm pretty sure most people, from all faiths, religions or walks of life, reach a point where they just feel....bleh.
It feels as if you are just going through the motions of a day-to-day life without much direction or purpose. I might be totally alone here, but I have a feeling that many can relate.
This entire year I have had absolutely no idea what purpose my life held in the greater scheme of the world and basically I felt pretty useless.
I have always felt a very strong call to the poor and have always felt like I needed to be doing something, anything, to help the situation of poverty our country finds itself in. The problem was that firstly, I was just ridiculously lazy, and secondly, I didn't feel that I had the ability to do anything. I mean, I'm just one person and there are a gazillion (that may not even be an exaggeration) mouths to feed and bodies to clothe. In my mind, I just couldn't understand why God would want to use me of all people. I'm nobody special, I mess up all the time and I can be pretty selfish and greedy and even spoilt when I want to b.

But here is what went down.

I spent a week during Matric Rage working 10pm-2am and 2am-4am shifts with a team of other people, just being a positive and sober presence during rage and ensuring that the matrics felt safe in a very hectic, alcohol-filled environment. By Day Two I was so ridiculously tired and just emotionally and physically broken that I didn't know how I was going to cope for the rest of the week.
Then I heard a life-changing analogy.

It came from Matt 14:13-21 and was a story about how Jesus used the lunch of a little boy to feed 5000 people. He started off with five loaves of bread and two fish. He then broke the bread and used these five loaves to feed all these people.

 This story basically depicts my time during Matric Rage. Our team was like those loaves of bread, small and seemingly insignificant - but Jesus found us in our brokenness and tiredness and used us to "feed" or help all those matrics, and boy, did He show up. It was said to be one of the calmest Matric Rages they have ever had.

Anyway the point is that, during that week, God really showed me that no matter how insignificant I think I am and no matter how much I have messed up in my life, I still have the ability to love people beyond my capabilities. I realised that I had forgotten how powerful it was to merely show someone love and kindness. We don't have to be perfect people, in fact, we probably never will be, but we have been given this beautiful gift of love - a powerful love that comes from a God who loves us without condition or expectation... so why not use it to make a difference in the world.

I think it was Mother Theresa who once said,

" Following Jesus is simple, but never easy. Love until it hurts, then love more"

Sheesh, what a quote hey.

Sometimes, actually oftentimes, it does hurt to love the old lady who has fallen asleep on the pavement in the rain, or the man digging in the rubbish bin for any sign of food, or the group of friends sitting on the curb, drinking alcohol all day to forget about the pain of poverty. It hurts because I wish there was more I could do and it hurts because I know that there are so many more like them, but you would be surprised the impact that showing someone a little love can have. It is because I love that I give them money for the shelter, it is because I love that I make them food parcels, it is because I love that I talk to them and pray with them and build relationships with them.

It is because I am loved by a God like no other that I can love. It is because of that love that I finally feel like I have purpose. It is because of that love that I'm finally doing something about it.

Thought of the Week

This is a little something my friend Pasqua wrote a while ago. It really moved me and I thought every girl and guy out there should have the opportunity to read it. We all really need to learn to see each other through God's eyes.



EVERY GIRL - Pasqua Heard

She is not a"slut"
or any other derogatory name you think defines her.
She is not an object symbolising sex...
Neither is she a "random hookup" or "vibe".
She means something.
She is created in His image: Pure, Blameless, Beautiful.
He knit her together in her mother's womb.
She is forgiven.
He died for her.
He died for her sins. (Which include: comparing herself to others; drunkeness; envy; promiscuity...)
He knows her from the inside out. It is her heart - rather than her outside beauty - He is more concerned about. He sees through the designer clothes and immaculate make-up.
She is his daughter. And he has perfect plans for her life.
But when you entice her with deceptive charm and flattery, tempt her with alcohol, superficial acceptance, admiration and momentary satifisfactions, you rob her of noticing His plans.
But the truth remains the same, whether you or she chooses to accept it:
She is dearly loved by a Father who wishes to gather her in His arms and protect her from evil - a Father who will one day wipe away every tear from her eyes if she simply turns to Him.
I challenge you to see her as He sees her.
She is His beloved.

Winter Warmth on the Streets

In the past month I have come to truly appreciate the value of money after quitting my job as a waitress and having to battle out the months expenses without a constant income. There's only one word for it - humbling. I have been avoiding clothing shops like the plague because I know I don't have the money to splurge on unnecessary luxuries like warm winter jerseys.

However, amidst the " financial crisis" of my life, my eyes were really opened to the fact that, although I may not be the richest kid on the block, I am extremely blessed to have warm clothes, warm food and a heater in my house this winter. I say this because I recently heard an excerpt on the radio about giving old jerseys and warm clothes to people we see on the street who have nothing to keep warm. This really got me thinking about how many people I drive past every day, sometimes at 10pm at night, who are wearing mere scraps as clothing, are usually barefoot, and are sometimes even walking in icy winds and rain just so they can get some money from passing drivers. It breaks my heart to even think that I could drive past those people with the heater in my car on full blast and a hoodie to keep my body warm, and yet still complain that I don't have enough money to buy myself more jerseys.

After I heard that piece on the radio, I went home straight away, put about seven of my old and new jerseys and hoodies onto the passenger seat of my car, and handed them out to anyone I saw that looked cold or in need of something other than a piece of sackcloth to wear. I wish I could warm up every person on the street.

People often say to me " what's the point of giving them clothes or food when they don't even appreciate it. All they really want is money for glue and alcohol ".

Well this is what I say in response to that.
Did anyone ever stop a street kid and ask him why he sniffs glue? I bet you his answer won't be that it tastes better than a home cooked meal. No, his answer will probably go something like this :
" Glue makes me warm inside so that I cannot feel the cold. It also takes away the feelings of hunger, and makes me forget about the pain and the sadness of my life on the street because it puts me on a euphoric high ".

What I believe is that if those street kids were being provided with love, food, clothing and warmth, the need for glue would disappear and it would be easier to stop the addiction.  An amazing quote I once heard ( can't remember who it was by) was : When people are on the street holding up signs asking for change, maybe they are not referring to money".

What have we got to lose by gathering some jerseys, blankets, warm pyjamas, or cans of food that we have lying around most probably in excess, and distributing them to the people we drive past on a daily basis. You'll be amazed at how such a small, random act of kindness can affect a person's life in the long run. If you have spare time on your hands, go a step further - get a group of friends together, cook a big pot of stew, take it to a place where you know there are people in need, and sit down and have a meal with them. We are all humans trying to find our way in an infinite universe and at the end of the day, regardless of what Maslows Hierarchy of Needs says, our greatest need is to be loved. So go and love all those people who so desperately need it.

I don't have a job, I live in a small house, I don't have my own car and I can't afford expensive clothes...but to that lady on the street with a baby, I am a millionaire - and "millionaires" need to be parting with their riches so that the poor can survive.

I know I wrote a post recently on a similar topic, but that's because it's something I am immensely passionate about, so I will keep talking and writing about it until I can no longer and I hope that you don't just read this and "like" it, but rather read it and then go straight to your cupboards and grab those jerseys and blankets.

FUNSUNZI - everything great about Durban.

Being able to wear dresses and shorts in winter. Long walks along the beach. A coastline that never seems to end. Bean Green - the best coffee around. Gigs at Unit 11. Chip and Cheese Roti's. Indie kids. Friendly people. Monthly Night Markets. Falaffels. Dancing for hours to cheesy old school music. Iheart market. So much trendiness. Southcoast camping trips. The Midlands Meander. Long drives. Trips to the beach at night time. Wet 'n Wild waterworld. Strikes at varsity which allow you to have a mini holiday. Everyone gets along with everyone. The best people. Walking around barefoot without caring. Florida Road. Kif slang. The way we say the word "vibe". Surfers. Shopping for bargains in the CBD. The People-Mover. All the street-merchants. Never having to drive too far. Warm oceans. Shark nets. The Playhouse. Wakkaberry frozen yoghurt. Essenwood fleemarket.Playing in parks. Eating the best crumpets ever made at Botanical Gardens. Westville Baptist. The kids at Addington Primary School. Learning isiZulu. A province of all cultures. Braai's with mates. DVD nights. The laid back attitude of durbanites. East Coast Radio. Good-looking people. Mitchells Park Zoo. Blogging. The Sharks. Home-cooked meals. The best soccer stadium. Cycling 7km from Ushaka to Suncoast. Pavilion. wearing flip flops. Flat-peak caps. Moyo face paints. Making friends. Decent waves. Daytrips to Ballito. A holiday destination and a home.

Guys - the dating tips you need ( trust me)

For this post I decided to do a little fieldwork and hit the streets, to ask the ladies for a few dos and don'ts that they would like the guys to be aware of when it comes to them pursuing a relationship or being in one.

 I find males constantly moaning to me that girls are so complicated and that they can't figure us out and blah blah blah...well guys, here is a list of exactly what we want and don't want. This should make your lives a little easier. Oh, and if you think its unfair that you don't get to compose a list for us to follow, then just remember that you're supposedly the uncomplicated gender and therefore you shouldn't need a list. Bam.


DO...

* Always open the car door for her or hold out her seat for her in a restaurant (proving that chivalry has not completely died in our generation)

* Make effort with the small things - little memories and personal jokes etc. Generally girls are sentimental creatures

* Offer her your hoodie when she is cold, "nothing better than drowning in an oversized mens hoodie"  - quote from Jessica Swart

*Make an effort to find out about her likes and dislikes, that's where the little things count. For example, if she likes music make her a mixed tape of her favourite songs ( side note: it would be even better if the songs held meaning for your relationship)

*If she's had a bad day or is feeling sick, make an effort to make her feel better.. Phone her or go over to her house with popcorn and chocolate and a comedy to make her laugh (this is all depending on how far you are in the relationship of course), but the important thing is that you show you care

*Pick up on social cues - a girl will tell you if she's interested or uninterested just by the way she acts, or by her body language. If she's uninterested stop flirting, please save yourself and STOP . Otherwise you will force her to ignore the heck out of you and that just makes things awkward.
*Learn the love languages ( just google "love languages" ). Find out how she shows love and make effort in those areas - eg. if she likes giving surprise gifts to people, she'll like surprise gifts from you.

* Take initiative and make the first move - girls like guys who take the lead and make decisions. This also includes being man enough to tell her that you like her/love her/ want to pursue a relationship ( all depending if her social cues indicate that she feels the same ).

* Be open and honest. Don't leave the small issues in the dark because they will eventually become big issues. Talk to her about them,she will appreciate the honesty in the long run regardless of how much it may hurt to hear in the present.

*Go the extra mile. Most girls love the occasional big gesture because it makes them feel like they are appreciated and special to you. For example, drive a long distance just to see her or take her out to a place you can't really afford.

*Make sure that you notice and acknowledge if she got a new haircut, because it was probably to impress you. If she's dressed up for a night out, tell her that she looks beautiful . If she's just in her pyjamas, still tell her that she looks beautiful. Remember, girls have insecurities and its up to you to get rid of them.( side note: most girls would rather be called beautiful than hot)

*Tell her things. Everything.Communication is key.Girls want to get inside your head. They want to know how your mind works. They want to know everything from the big stuff, to the little details about your day that another 'normal' person wouldn't care about. On the flip side of that, listen to her - this is a great way to get to know how she thinks and what she values.

* Pay the bill, or at least always offer to pay for it. This makes girls feel like they are with a man who can take care of them.

* Have fun with her.Girls aren't only about deep meaningful conversations and emotions, they also love to have fun. Take her on adventures. Teach her a skill that she can boast to her friends about. Take her on dates in unusual beautiful places. Go the extra mile. Not just once in a blue moon, but every day.

*In public make sure she's accounted for.. Stand next to her in a social gathering, rub her back while you're talking to others. This is a great way to let a girl know that you're thinking about her even though your full attention is not on her.

* Connect with her family. It's important to most girls that their boyfriends like their families and that their families like their boyfriends. So make the effort no matter how scary it may be. Man up.

* Get involved in some form of ministry together, share thoughts about God and your faith, pray together. This is the most binding part of a relationship

* Last but not least, pursue her .This is probably the most important point and links up to the one about taking initiative. If you like her, you need to do what it takes to win her over, and then even when you are dating, you need to continue to win her over. It's just how it works.

 DON'T...




* Give mixed signals, if you're undecided on your feelings don't make any moves until you've decided whether you like the girl or not because remember, girls always overthink things and try to read between the lines.

* Play games. This links to the above point. Real relationships aren't about playing hard to get, being manipulative,  or flirting with other girls to get her attention, leave that nonsense up to the cast of The Bold and the Beautiful.

* Be immmature. Nobody likes a guy who is clingy, whiney and sulks a lot. This will just drive a girl away, and besides, you are not five years old.

*Talk about how hot other girls are.. even actresses. That may have been okay when you were single, but not when you are pursuing or in a relationship. A girl wants to feel beautiful around you... not second best, and you don't want to be causing any more insecurities for her.

 * Control her. Nothing is worse than a boyfriend taking on the role of 'Dictator husband,' telling her who she can and can't be friends with and what she can and can't wear. Don't confuse being possessive with being protective - there is a huge difference.

* Use cheesy pick up lines or cliches. It's not ideal and it won't work out in your favour. Trust me. Girl's like romance, but not mushy cliches.

* Get too intense too soon.Taking it slow never killed anybody. It will also show the girl that you are respectful of her and the relationship and will prevent premature emotional attachment which could end up in hurt.

* Be afraid to make a fool out of yourself. Girls like a guy who is confident within himself without being arrogant. Laughter is the quickest way to someones heart.

* Use disrespectful language around her, even if all your friends are. Toilet humour is not okay. Remember, girls always like a gentleman.

* Pursue a relationship with several girls at once. Take the time to figure out who you want to be with ( one person) and then pursue that girl only. side note. If you have a flirtatious nature, be very careful, because it may seem serious to the girl you are pursuing and can also be very hurtful, even if it is unintentional.



Well, I hope these tips proved to be helpful for all the men out there....I'm sure you all are or are going to be wonderful boyfriends/husbands, but a little advice from the inside never hurt anybody right?

Many thanks to the amazing input from Megan Carrie, Jessica Swart, Caitlin Johnston, Megan Pilditch, Julie Patrick, Pasqua Heard, Tam Ballard and Lucy Hobbs. You are all fantastic woman and you basically wrote half this post, so thank you!